Trump Space Force Medicine

INT. SPACE FORCE BRIEFING ROOM – NIGHT

An American flag flaps dramatically. A digital sign reads “KENNEDY SPACE FORCE MEDICINE HQ.” RFK JR. and DONALD TRUMP are facing off, tension thick as Florida humidity. Secret Service on standby. A monitor behind them flashes images of astronauts holding IV bags in zero-G.

TRUMP
Look, folks, I built this. I drained the swamp — completely drained, bone dry — and what did we find under all that slime? Kennedy Space Force Medicine. Mine. The best. Tremendous medicine. Space pills, floating vaccines — all because of me.

RFK JR.
You drained the swamp and found a Kennedy program? That’s like saying you went digging and found Camelot under Mar-a-Lago. This was named after my family — the Kennedy family. My uncle started NASA, my father inspired a generation. And now? Another Kennedy project hijacked.

TRUMP
Hijacked? No no no, Bobby. I liberated it. Your family had it cursed! Marilyn, Chappaquiddick, even the moon landing — all of it, just bad luck. But me? I took the curse off with my executive order and some bleach. It’s called leadership.

RFK JR.
Your bleach can’t cleanse generational tragedy, Donald. This was supposed to be for healing — for the people. Now you’re using it to sell holographic Trump vitamins to billionaires on Mars.

TRUMP
And they’re selling very well, by the way. Vitamin T — T for Trump. Also stands for tremendous. You’re welcome.

RFK JR.
You’re turning the legacy of Camelot into Qamelot. The Kennedy Space Force was about vision. You’re making it a brand.

TRUMP
Everything great is a brand, Bobby. Even America. You’re just jealous the Kennedy curse met the Trump Touch™. Sad!

RFJ Jr. slaps the control panel. A hologram of JFK appears, spinning slowly.

JFK HOLOGRAM
Ask not what your orbital medicine can do for you… ask what you can do for your orbital medicine.

TRUMP
See? Even your uncle agrees with me.

RFK JR.
…This family is cursed.


Who really owns Kennedy Space Force Medicine? The courts are still trying to figure it out, but Elon Musk just tweeted “I’ll buy it.”

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Want to improve hearing? Eat mushrooms

Noticed how walnuts, that are said to be great for the brain, share a striking resemblance with it? We ask experts if bizarre connections are actually scientific signs

When they were teaching you the WYSIWYG, or What You See Is What You Get in computer class, little did you realise how relevant it would be to human health. As bizarre as it may sound, or look, certain foods bear a striking similarity to the organs they are beneficial for. Is it just a coincidence, or is it a less-understood sign?

“A sliced carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye and yes, science says carrots enhance blood flow to the eyes. So, the connection is scientific,” says Dr Shachi Sohal, senior dietician with Dr BL Kapur Hospital. Carrots contain a carotenoid called beta-carotene, which gets converted to Vitamin A in our body. Vitamin A is fat-soluble and an anti-oxidant that helps you see normally in the dark and promotes the growth and health of all body cells and tissues. Anti-oxidants like Vitamin A are essential for healthy eyes. Vitamin A maintains the functionality of rod cells in the eyes that are responsible for night vision.

Dr Shachi also supports the walnut-brain theory. “The gnarled folds of a walnut mimic the appearance of a human brain, and provide a clue to the benefits. Walnuts have often been referred to as brain food owing to the high concentration of omega 3 fats, which help brain cells function efficiently. The human brain consists of more than 60% structural fat,” she says.

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