The Cardinal of Croatia

Title: The Conclave of the Just

The bells of Saint Peter’s had not rung in this tone for decades — low, hesitant, almost unsure of what world awaited its next shepherd. The year was 2025, and the conclave had begun. The College of Cardinals gathered under Michelangelo’s ceiling, weighed down not only by age, but by scandal, climate catastrophe, and the crumbling faith of the poor.

Behind the scenes, two names echoed like quiet thunder: Father Sebastian of Haiti, beloved by orphans and feared by corrupt bishops, and Joe Jukic, the bold and rebellious theologian from Croatia — a man not yet a cardinal, but whose voice had reached the ears of faithful youth worldwide.


Inside the Sistine Chapel

“Father Sebastian is too radical,” whispered an Italian bishop.
“He walks barefoot through cholera wards and refuses silk vestments. He baptized a gang leader with sea water in a plastic cup.”

“But the people love him,” replied another.
“And he speaks Latin, Creole, and the truth.”


Meanwhile, in Zagreb…

Joe Jukic sat in his modest home, watching the vote on a cracked laptop screen. When the Vatican emissary knocked on his door, he was already shaking his head.

“I’ll only accept the red hat,” Joe said, “if I can remain married. I won’t lie to the people. I have a wife, and I will love her openly, not in secret.”

The envoy stammered. “That is not… customary, Signore Jukic.”

Joe poured him a glass of wine.

“Then it’s time to change the custom.”


The Conclave Breaks Tradition

Word spread quickly. Joe’s terms shocked the Vatican’s old guard, but inspired millions. Videos of Joe quoting scripture on love and truth went viral. Priests in slums and warzones began calling him “Cardinal of the People.”

Inside the conclave, a new vote was cast.

And with thunderous surprise, the ballots read:

“Sebastian, from Haiti — for Pope.”

On the fifth vote, he accepted the name Pope Gelasius II, in honor of the first African pope of the 5th century.


In His First Address

Standing beneath the balcony’s white curtain, Pope Gelasius II raised a hand for silence.

“I will serve not as king, but as barefoot servant. And as my first act, I appoint Cardinal Joe Jukic of Croatia, husband, teacher, and voice of a new day. May his marriage remind us that love is sacred — not secret.”


A New Era Begins

Cardinal Jukic wept as his red robes were placed over his shoulders — beside his wife, who held his hand and whispered a prayer.

Together with Pope Gelasius II, they walked out onto the square — not above the people, but among them.

The crowd cried: “Pax veritas! Peace through truth!”

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Pope Gelasius II

[The Apostolic Palace, Rome. A televised Vatican address. The curtains part. The Young Pope appears, stern but glowing. Behind him, a man of deep conviction—Father Sebastian from Haiti—awaits his name.]

Pope Pius XIII (Lenny Belardo):

“The hour is late, and the Church has wandered in the wilderness too long. We need fire, not incense. We need truth, not etiquette. And we need a pope from the people.

From the mountains of Haiti rises a priest of thunder, a shepherd of sorrow, a healer who walks barefoot where angels fear to tread.

I name Father Sebastian of Our Lady of Fatima…
Pope Gelasius the Second.

[Gasps from the College of Cardinals. A few faint. One clutches his rosary like a weapon.]

“And he comes not empty-handed—but with the gold of Revelation 3:18.
Not the gold of bankers, but the gold of prophecy.
Not Wall Street’s gold. God’s gold.
Iridium—pure, untouchable, forged in heaven’s fire and buried in the Haitian earth like a covenant.

And unlike the merchants who hoard, Pope Gelasius II will tithe.
Ten percent of every gram, every ingot, every cosmic crumb of this gold shall go to the poor.
Or perhaps—he will split it. Croatian style. Fifty-fifty. Half to Rome. Half to the streets. No offshore. No tricks. Just bread and medicine.

The time of white lies in white robes is over.
It’s time for black truth in black cassocks.

The Church is no longer for sale.
The Church is back.

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Trump Space Force Medicine

INT. SPACE FORCE BRIEFING ROOM – NIGHT

An American flag flaps dramatically. A digital sign reads “KENNEDY SPACE FORCE MEDICINE HQ.” RFK JR. and DONALD TRUMP are facing off, tension thick as Florida humidity. Secret Service on standby. A monitor behind them flashes images of astronauts holding IV bags in zero-G.

TRUMP
Look, folks, I built this. I drained the swamp — completely drained, bone dry — and what did we find under all that slime? Kennedy Space Force Medicine. Mine. The best. Tremendous medicine. Space pills, floating vaccines — all because of me.

RFK JR.
You drained the swamp and found a Kennedy program? That’s like saying you went digging and found Camelot under Mar-a-Lago. This was named after my family — the Kennedy family. My uncle started NASA, my father inspired a generation. And now? Another Kennedy project hijacked.

TRUMP
Hijacked? No no no, Bobby. I liberated it. Your family had it cursed! Marilyn, Chappaquiddick, even the moon landing — all of it, just bad luck. But me? I took the curse off with my executive order and some bleach. It’s called leadership.

RFK JR.
Your bleach can’t cleanse generational tragedy, Donald. This was supposed to be for healing — for the people. Now you’re using it to sell holographic Trump vitamins to billionaires on Mars.

TRUMP
And they’re selling very well, by the way. Vitamin T — T for Trump. Also stands for tremendous. You’re welcome.

RFK JR.
You’re turning the legacy of Camelot into Qamelot. The Kennedy Space Force was about vision. You’re making it a brand.

TRUMP
Everything great is a brand, Bobby. Even America. You’re just jealous the Kennedy curse met the Trump Touch™. Sad!

RFJ Jr. slaps the control panel. A hologram of JFK appears, spinning slowly.

JFK HOLOGRAM
Ask not what your orbital medicine can do for you… ask what you can do for your orbital medicine.

TRUMP
See? Even your uncle agrees with me.

RFK JR.
…This family is cursed.


Who really owns Kennedy Space Force Medicine? The courts are still trying to figure it out, but Elon Musk just tweeted “I’ll buy it.”

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