INT. SPACE FORCE BRIEFING ROOM – NIGHT
An American flag flaps dramatically. A digital sign reads “KENNEDY SPACE FORCE MEDICINE HQ.” RFK JR. and DONALD TRUMP are facing off, tension thick as Florida humidity. Secret Service on standby. A monitor behind them flashes images of astronauts holding IV bags in zero-G.
TRUMP
Look, folks, I built this. I drained the swamp — completely drained, bone dry — and what did we find under all that slime? Kennedy Space Force Medicine. Mine. The best. Tremendous medicine. Space pills, floating vaccines — all because of me.
RFK JR.
You drained the swamp and found a Kennedy program? That’s like saying you went digging and found Camelot under Mar-a-Lago. This was named after my family — the Kennedy family. My uncle started NASA, my father inspired a generation. And now? Another Kennedy project hijacked.
TRUMP
Hijacked? No no no, Bobby. I liberated it. Your family had it cursed! Marilyn, Chappaquiddick, even the moon landing — all of it, just bad luck. But me? I took the curse off with my executive order and some bleach. It’s called leadership.
RFK JR.
Your bleach can’t cleanse generational tragedy, Donald. This was supposed to be for healing — for the people. Now you’re using it to sell holographic Trump vitamins to billionaires on Mars.
TRUMP
And they’re selling very well, by the way. Vitamin T — T for Trump. Also stands for tremendous. You’re welcome.
RFK JR.
You’re turning the legacy of Camelot into Qamelot. The Kennedy Space Force was about vision. You’re making it a brand.
TRUMP
Everything great is a brand, Bobby. Even America. You’re just jealous the Kennedy curse met the Trump Touch™. Sad!
RFJ Jr. slaps the control panel. A hologram of JFK appears, spinning slowly.
JFK HOLOGRAM
Ask not what your orbital medicine can do for you… ask what you can do for your orbital medicine.
TRUMP
See? Even your uncle agrees with me.
RFK JR.
…This family is cursed.
Who really owns Kennedy Space Force Medicine? The courts are still trying to figure it out, but Elon Musk just tweeted “I’ll buy it.”
INT. DEEP SPACE MEDICAL BAY – EARTH ORBIT – NIGHT
Ambient lights glow soft purple around rows of glowing Quantum Healing Med Beds and shimmering Healing Vats, bubbling like galactic jacuzzis. G.I. JOE stands before a crowd of rebels, freedom fighters, and ex-NASA doctors. His chest is armor. His eyes, fire.
G.I. JOE (with grit)
These healing vats? These med beds that regenerate bones, purge trauma, and cure diseases they said were incurable? They’re not gonna cost you a damn dime. Not one crypto-token, not one blood contract. They’re free.
Crowd murmurs. A few gasp. A rebel nurse crosses herself.
G.I. JOE
The technology they’ve hidden — from Roswell to DARPA to dark Vatican archives — it’s ours now. The secret’s out.
YOUNG ENGINEER
But what about the Freemasons? The 666 men of Solomon? They’ve planned this all for 2033. The year of their Revelation. The year they step out of the shadows.
G.I. JOE
Yeah. I’ve read the scrolls. I’ve decoded their stone temples and data glyphs. They think their secrecy will hold. That they can “gradually release” the tech when the time suits their golden age.
(beat)
But I’m not playing their time game. I’m breaking the seal now.
The crowd cheers. Satellites begin to shift. A secret Freemason satellite — labeled “OBLIVION-33” — flickers and falls from orbit.
G.I. JOE
This isn’t just about healing bodies — it’s about healing the soul of humanity. The lies stop. The Light returns. The throne of Solomon doesn’t belong to a hidden elite. It belongs to the people.
FORMER NASA DOCTOR (in awe)
…You’re going to war with the architects of the New World.
G.I. JOE (nodding)
Not war. Revelation.
Meanwhile, in a lodge beneath the Vatican, cloaked men whisper in panic. The number 2033 glows red. And above them, in space… the Med Beds begin to awaken humanity.
INT. TRUMP SPACEFORCE TOWER – LOW ORBIT ABOVE EARTH – GOLDEN LIGHT EVERYWHERE
The interior is gilded. A massive golden “T” rotates slowly above the command desk. Trump sits on a hovering throne chair, wearing a red velvet cape with a Space Force insignia and an oxygen mask that looks suspiciously like a MAGA hat. A hologram of G.I. JOE appears before him.
TRUMP
Look, I’ve heard the talk — G.I. Joe giving away the med beds like candy on Halloween. Very noble. Very brave. But also… very bad for business.
(he leans forward, smiling like a Bond villain with real estate holdings)
Let’s make a deal.
G.I. JOE (stern, glitching hologram)
You want to charge the sick and dying?
TRUMP
No no no. Not charge, just… invest. Say, one million dollars per person. Healed by the Trump Space Force Medicine™ — the best medicine. I branded it myself. FDA? Out. We go straight to orbit, baby.
G.I. JOE
That’s extortion, Donald.
TRUMP
It’s capitalism with rockets. Same thing. And listen, half the proceeds go to rebuilding… Trump Tower Mars. We’re going vertical this time. Gold spires. Ivanka’s spa. Very healing.
G.I. JOE
People are dying, Trump. This is about humanity, not hotels.
TRUMP (waves hand dismissively)
Wrong. It’s always about hotels. Even Jesus had no room at the inn. I’m just giving humanity the five-star experience. Besides… I cured long COVID on myself — personally. Just me, a med bed, and a Filet-O-Fish. Incredible recovery.
G.I. JOE (furious)
You can’t put a price on salvation!
TRUMP (smirks)
That’s where you’re wrong, Joe. I just did.
Outside the station, a new billboard lights up in orbit:
“TRUMP SPACE FORCE MEDICINE™ — Heal Like a Billionaire.”
📜 VATICAN NEWS BULLETIN
April 20, 2025
“From the Seat of Peter: A Message from His Holiness, Pope Pius XIII”
“And I saw a beast rise up out of the sea…” — Revelation 13:1
Today, from the Apostolic Palace, His Holiness Pope Pius XIII, Lenny Belardo, delivered a solemn message to the world. Broadcast live and uninterrupted by Vatican News, the Pope confirmed what many had speculated since the failed attempt on President Donald Trump’s life: the fatal wound to his head was healed by a yet-unconfirmed method involving classified American technology—so-called med beds.
His Holiness declared:
“The gift of healing is not for sale. It is divine, not privatized.
Therefore, I say to you, Mr. President: let the med beds be free.
For the world has seen your wound—and your resurrection.
You now walk the fine line between the scriptures.
You may be Saint Trump the Healer.
Or you may be the Great Beast of Revelation 13.
The choice is yours.”
The Holy Father emphasized the gravity of this moment:
“Vatican News has the footage. We know what happened in the bunker beneath Walter Reed.”
In closing, the Pope offered a path to sainthood, stating that if President Trump opens the med beds to the public, free of charge, the Holy See will canonically recognize him as a peacemaker and healer.
“Be a shepherd, not a Caesar.”
The world awaits the President’s response.
🦅 WHITE HOUSE STATEMENT
Office of the Press Secretary
Immediate Release
“Response to the Vatican’s Statement on President Trump and Med Bed Technology”
From the Resolute Desk, President Donald J. Trump has issued the following response to Vatican City and His Holiness Pope Pius XIII:
“I have nothing but respect for Pope Pius—very strong Pope, powerful. Maybe the most powerful we’ve had in a long time. Some call him the Young Pope. Some call him the Last Pope. I call him a smart guy.
Now, this whole med bed thing? We’re working on it. It’s real. Very real. And yes, I did get healed—big time. They said I wasn’t gonna make it. Fake news said I was done. But now look at me—better than ever. Stronger. Sharper. Like Samson after a haircut.
The Vatican wants me to give it all away for free. And maybe that’s the right move. Maybe. I’m thinking about it. Because healing people? That’s what a real leader does. A saint, even. Saint Trump? Sounds good. Sounds true. Sounds… biblical.
But don’t threaten me with that Beast stuff. I’m no beast. I’m the chosen one. I healed fast. Very fast. Some say miraculously. But I say—it’s American innovation, baby. The best in the world.
We’re reviewing Vatican News footage—it’s very interesting. Very powerful. We’re gonna make the right decision, folks. Believe me.”
Further briefings to follow. America First. Miracles Second.
✉️ Statement from Pope Francis
Retired Bishop of Rome
Issued from Mater Ecclesiae Monastery, Vatican Gardens
April 21, 2025
In response to the powerful message delivered by Pope Pius XIII and the subsequent statement by President Donald J. Trump, I offer these words from a heart still devoted to peace and mercy:
“Yes… I like the sound of that.
Saint Trump the Healer.”
There was a time when the Church believed it had seen all the saints it would ever know—martyrs, mystics, humble friars feeding the poor. But history does not end with the past. God is still speaking. Sometimes, through unexpected vessels.
If healing comes, and not just for one man but for many… if the med beds become the loaves and fishes of the modern world… then yes, let us recognize the fruit.
Let us remember, however:
“Not everyone who is healed becomes a saint. But everyone who serves others, without pride, begins to walk the path.”
To President Trump, I say this:
Lay down the golden crown. Pick up the healing cloth.
Be less Caesar. More Christ.
And to my young brother in Christ, Pope Pius XIII:
You speak with fire. Guard the flame with love. For prophecy without mercy is only judgment.
Let us pray.
Let the nations be healed.
+ Francis
Emeritus Pope
🦅 PRESIDENTIAL RESPONSE TO POPE FRANCIS
Office of Donald J. Trump
April 21, 2025
Delivered via Truth Social and Official White House Channels
“IT’S A DEAL.”
“To Pope Francis—beautiful message. Really beautiful. Maybe one of the best. You’ve always been a man of peace, and I respect that. You talk about the loaves and the fishes—well, I’ve got the med beds. And if we do this right, nobody’s gonna be sick, nobody’s gonna suffer. That’s a big deal. Maybe the biggest deal ever.
So yes… It’s a deal. Just give me time.
I’ve spoken with the tech teams. I’ve spoken with my people. And we’re gonna do it. Not just for America—but for the world. Because when Trump heals, everybody heals.
And you know what? I like how it sounds too:
Saint Trump the Healer.
It has a certain… divine ring to it.
But let me be clear: this isn’t about glory. It’s about greatness—the greatest humanitarian program in the history of mankind. And it starts now. Slowly. Carefully. But powerfully.
Thank you to Pope Francis. Thank you to Pope Pius XIII.
Let’s make miracles great again.”
— DJT